Wordle Creations

One of my coaching friends introduced me to Wordle.net. If you go there, you can create one of these very neat word images about any topic or a jumble of topics. I scooped up text from my coaching website here:



And this one is from my "about you" page on my site. I think I can do better than this:



And this is kind of neat. It's the "about me" page on my site. What a way to create a collage about yourself and see where you could do less of something or more of it, or at least mention it less or more:



And I really like this one. It's from my last post on the power of kissing. How juicy is this?



I could play all day with that. Try it. Have fun. Oh, and I'm supposed to credit www.wordle.net with those images created from my content. :)

A Kiss Is Still a Kiss...Or Is It More?

Ok, I watched Oprah today. There, I said it. I've been watching a little as I drink my morning coffee and write because I'm home.

Today's show was good...very good. It was about what turns women on, what's in our attraction factor, what makes us tick sexually, what's in the O for us. There were experts, actual Ph.D.s, who did scientific studies, some were men and some were women, and they discussed the biology behind passion, attraction, mate selection, keeping attraction and passion alive, and really what gets women hot. I love this topic because who doesn't love getting hot for the one they love?

As I watched the show, I kept thinking, "OMG, that's what I have been trying to communicate and that's what I've wanted, and they are saying it out loud!" It was so validating. If you're a guy, watch that episode, even if you despise Oprah or daytime talk shows geared toward women. This one is priceless.

It's so simple.

The first lesson: Women are most turned on when they are desired. Bingo! "Women want to know that you want to have sex with THEM. They know you desire sex, but when you let them know you desire sex with THEM, that takes them over the edge. That's the O." The fact is that women want sex too, but what takes ordinary sex to mind blowing sex for women is when her man pursues her, wants her, and makes that very clear...you know what I mean? It's a guaranteed O. I swear it, fellas. You show us how much you want us, we'll reciprocate your socks off and thank you for it after.

The second lesson: Kiss your lady at least once every single day, deeply, for at least 10 seconds straight. Not the kind of kiss you give your mother...save those for your Aunt Louise. No, the kind of kiss that involves your saliva. You know the kind of kiss I'm talking about. The one that leads to other things...and why does it lead to other things? Did you know that when you kiss your woman deeply, your saliva contains testosterone that is transferred into her bloodstream via her mouth, and it increases her libido? If you think your lover isn't feeling it as often as you'd like her to, or if you would like her to be a little more interactive in the process...a little more into you...a little more adventurous, try planting a good one on her for ten long seconds or more and see what that does for you? I bet she finds that the mood strikes her a little more easily, and then she'll be more likely to give you what you need and want. In fact, do that once a day for a while and see if it doesn't transform your "routine." What have you got to lose?

There was more to the show. They talked about biological attraction by scent and saliva and how birth control pills can affect a woman's ability to choose the right mate for reproduction purposes, etc, but these are the things that really concerned heating up your love life if you already found the one.

I got to thinking how might this all relate to the law of attraction. Hmmm...

If you are a man and you want your lady to have more enthusiasm about getting under the covers with you and pleasing you and telling you what a wonderful lover you are and how much she wants you, the law of attraction says you get back what you are putting out to the Universe. You will get what you can give to someone else. So...if you can show your sweetheart just how much you desire her by pursuing her and kissing her passionately, you just might attract into your relationship a more passionate, engaging, eager to please you and more easily pleased partner...the one you already have lying right next to you.

If you are a woman and you would like a little of this in your direction from the man you love, it's ok to ask him to kiss you. The Universe responds when you ask for what you want. Ask and it is given, right? Start out with that. Ask him if he'll kiss you every day. How could he say no to the woman he loves? See what that does for you and for him.

A kiss is much more than a kiss. It's the opening of a whole new world of passion and exploration for your love life. Explore with the object of your affection and let me know if Oprah's show was right.

How Do You Know If She's "The One?"

I read a really shallow article today about finding the right mate, or knowing when a girl is the girl you should marry. I despise articles like these, because while they seem to mean well and they often have some nugget of truth and wisdom to them, they usually oversimplify and impose their values or some silly set of rules on the masses. I prefer to think for myself and the older I get, the more I prefer to follow my own set of values.

Here's the article, if you'd like to read it for reference:

Should You Marry Her?

As I mentioned, the article does point out some helpful standards one might value, such as she has her own hobbies and allows you to have yours, or she sometimes disagrees with you because she also has a mind of her own, and she has some ambition, to name a few. However, not every man has the same set of values or the same list of qualities he'd like in a mate. Just as not every woman does. We all have within ourselves the wisdom to formulate our own list based upon our own values, boundaries and standards. It is important that we go through that process ourselves instead of having a staff writer for MSN Lifestyle tell us what the list should look like.

The other bone I have to pick with the article is that it is very "me" centered. It focuses on what the woman has to offer to the man. It doesn't take into account compatibilities or give and take. There are two dangers in this approach, in my opinion. First, a guy who might read this and actually think it's the gold standard in evaluating whether he should marry his girl might actually think that only his interests and needs and time and wallet matter. The author tries to hint that a woman who pays at least sometimes could be a good indication that she'll be reciprocal in other ways in the relationship. However, there is no mention of the ways in which both parties can reciprocate, outside of the financial realm, and there is no mention of the ways she may already reciprocate financially even if she didn't buy dinner out. Second, what really scares me about articles like these are the women out there who may read it and then think they have to mold themselves to these rules or they'll never win the prize.

I have news for you, sweetie, you are the prize. The right guy will see that and appreciate you for who you are. You can start the process of attracting a man who will appreciate who you are by appreciating yourself, loving yourself, and respecting yourself. You can also make your own list of qualities and traits that you find valuable in a mate, and set your intention to attract someone into your life who appreciates you and has those qualities. Finally, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, so practice being what you want to attract. If you want someone who is kind, gentle, loving, intelligent, responsible, well groomed, etc., then be all of those things yourself. Like attracts like and you get what you want by giving it to someone else.

I am all about resources that help you ask yourself the powerful questions that lead you to the right choices in life. When a list just blankly tells you what you should value and whether a girl is a keeper, you should keep looking inside yourself, because the answer isn't on someone else's list. It's on your list, and that list may still be inside you, but it's there. You have to cultivate it.

We are all perfect for someone, and probably more than just one someone. Keep being the best you that you can be and that special someone will find you. If the person isn't right for you, you know it and just say "next!"

Getting in Touch with the Pure At Heart

Being around a small child can really open your eyes to how significant every little thing is in the world. They notice everything. They are little sponges, and they copy everything you do. My niece, Stella, is just under 11 months old and she spent some time with me at my house today. While the video might seem boring to some, watch how excited she is when my dogs move and how fast she can repeat things when I make noises that she can copy.

I also noticed today, aside from this little video, that when she's happy, she's really happy. When she is uncomfortable, she makes no bones about letting you know, but the minute it's all better, she's forgotten about it and she's really happy again. Boy, how we adults could learn from that.

Try hanging out with a little person and see if it doesn't change your perspective on things a little bit. You'll pay attention to your surroundings more because they'll point everything out to you as if they're seeing it for the first time...because they are. They'll crack you up in ways you have never laughed, and when they cry, you'll do anything to make it go away and bring their little smile back as fast as you can.

I have to say, too, that I had a little worry in the back of my mind about whether my dogs would be good around a baby. I knew it'd be fine, but you just worry. My Luther is always a lovebug, sometimes a little too much of a lovebug. True to form, he tried to love Stella so much that while it was sweet 95% of the time, he did knock her over trying to snuggle her once. He doesn't realize he's so big. :) Laney was the real worry for me. She's a Cattle Dog and they're a little offstandish at times, and really a one-person dog. However, Laney's maternal instinct kicked in full force and wow did she become a protective mama to Stella. She didn't leave Stella's side at all, not once. Even after the baby went home, Laney went from room to room trying to find her. I even got some good shots of Laney (very hard to do because she isn't friendly to the camera) when she was protecting Stella. I guess even dogs know that little ones are pure at heart.

Amping Up My Vibration In My Slice of Nature

We had a record 74 degree day today in SE Wisconsin. The past 7 St. Paddy's Days have been 35 degrees, and 3 of the 7 were snow days. Needless to say, we Cheeseheads were not only drunk (not me), but happy to see the sun. The bars opened at 6 and they said on the news that people sat outside and drank all day. Good for them!

I, on the other hand, used the day to clean up my backyard for spring. I raked the flower beds and lawn so that all that is spring and green can peek through easily and breathe, and so that it can see the sun too. I can already see things coming up. I cleaned my patio furniture and set it up nicely, and arranged my annual pots and lanterns around the patio. I cleared away any leaves, garbage and sticks that were cluttering up the yard. I even put my umbrella and seat cushions out for that relaxing feeling of my outdoor "room." While I was cleaning my market umbrella, a bee chased me.

The dogs lazed around the yard, following me as I picked up after them, raked and set the yardscape up. I tossed the frisbee for Luther and threw Laney's basketball all day long. They're wiped and currently passed out on the floor, drooling.

I visited my mom and my niece while my mom cleaned up her yard, because I wanted to say hi and my mom had some artisan cheese and a rake for me to use.

Getting back in touch with my yard, the garden, the soil, seeing the green buds under all the debris I raked away, and feeling the wind blow my hair around without caring what it looked like hiked up my vibration quite a bit. Yesterday was a day of panic, wondering when I'll land my new job and doing the math on bills and unemployment checks. Today I did the labor of love that is connecting with nature and cleaning up my piece of it. The law of fair exchange will ensure that the Universe compensates me for my contribution, and I bet I'll sleep well tonight, even if I don't have a single drink on St. Paddy's Day.

When was the last time you connected with nature? What is your favorite way to do so? I invite you to pay attention to how it makes you feel when you spend an entire day doing nothing but appreciating the wind, the sun, the plants that surround you, bumble bees and lady bugs and beetles, and what the soil smells like. None of those energies or living things is worried about where their next paycheck is coming from. They know they will be provided for, and they take inspired action to ensure it, doing what is instinctive in them. Does nature inspire you to do what is "second nature" for you?

Video Vision Board - a'la Mel Brooks

I had to apply for unemployment compensation last week, and I'm awaiting the payments to kick in, so it's like I'm standing in this long line. I want it to go exactly the way that it goes for Mel Brooks in "The History of the World". Saved by the bell with the best gig of all.

Ordering the Right Job

Whenever we're not quite sure exactly what we want, we tend to give the Universe mixed signals, and we give ourselves and everyone around us mixed signals. As a result, we attract mixed results that often don't match up with what we truly want. This is true in all aspects of life, whether we're looking for the right mate, the right job, the right house, the right friends, or whatever it is we seek to bring into our lives.

I am going to lay forth the tools to attract the perfect job, because Lord knows in this economy, we can all use advice on landing a good job.

It's really quite simple. It's like placing an order with a waiter for dinner, only you will need to place an order with the Universe. When you order in a restaurant, you look at a menu and decide what you want, and sometimes you even tweak it a little to meet your dietary needs or special taste. It is the same idea when you are trying to attract a new and perfect job into your life.

First you need to get very clear about what you want. What kind of job do you want? What kind of people will you work with? What kind of space and environment, etc.? What types of skills will you use? For many people, it's hard to answer those questions. It's difficult to know what you like or don't like just thinking off the top of your head onto a blank piece of paper.

What seems to work very well is to get out a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you have really enjoyed doing in your past job experiences. Then add to that list anything you think you would enjoy that you may not have already experienced in your past positions. Then, on a separate piece of paper, write down all the things you disliked about your past jobs. Be complete. When you've finished that task, take all of your negatives and turn them into positives.

For example, if you worked within a strong boys club environment and you felt you couldn't advance or be accepted because you are a woman, turn that around: I work in a diverse and open environment where men and women are equally respected for the qualities they bring to the table. I fit in very well within the group and have enjoyed rewards due to my efforts. I see advancement in my future. See how it's done? Now, transfer the positive you just created to your order form...the first page that you wrote all the things you liked about your jobs on.

When you are finished, read through your list and see that you still agree with all the things on the list and want your new job to have those qualities and aspects to it. Add anything you may have left out.

You now have a complete "order". You can confirm your order and make it a daily affirmation. Read it once a day and allow yourself to envision working in a job like that OR BETTER. Always imagine what you want OR BETTER. You never know if the Universe has something better than you imagined in mind for you. Often it does.

Now, allow yourself some free time to practice extreme self-care and to envision your celebration when you get the job offer. How will it feel to have your job?

Break a leg!

P.S. I know this works. I've used it for other aspects of my life, and the U delivered better than I wished for. Try it!

Time for a New Job?

My sister loves this ad from the Superbowl this year. In this economy, it may be a good idea to hang on to any job security you have, but for some of us, it may be time...

A Monty Python Job Interview

Reflections During Lent

I'm not Catholic, but my father was raised Catholic and SP is Catholic. Many of my friends are Catholic and I went to law school in the most Catholic city in the U.S., New Orleans, Louisiana. To qualify as a cook in Louisiana, folks there ask you, "Who's your mama, is she Catholic and can she make a roux?" :) Even if you're not Catholic, the lessons from the Lenten season can apply to your life. It's a time to repent, to spring clean your life, to renew your commitment to your faith and to get back to the basics.

My great-grandmother was a Vatican I Catholic. She would be 100 this year, but she passed away at just shy of 93. She fasted through Lent, not just on Fridays. She conserved energy during Lent, by leaving the car in the garage and walking, and she read by candlelight. She read Bible verses and reflected on what they meant in her life and how she could better utilize the tools God had given to her to lead a more successful and love-filled life. She did more than choose a superficial and temporary sacrifice of chocolate or Scotch to cleanse her spirit during Lent, and she used that time to ask God for what she wanted to accomplish in the coming year.

Lent, by the way, is also celebrated by non-Catholic Christians, but it is not observed with the same rituals. The Lenten season spans 40 days because it represents the preparation period before Easter; it is symbolic of when Jesus wandered the wilderness for 40 days tempted by Satan in preparation for becoming a Rabi. (See Matthew 4:1-11). The word Lent comes from an Anglo-Saxon word "lencten" which means "spring." (see Beth Richardson, The Upper Room.) It is the time during which we Christians prepare ourselves for the observance and remembrance of the crucifixion of Christ, his death and sacrifice for our sins, and his resurrection into eternal life.

My other grandmother who passed away when I was 19 used to decorate her entire house for Lent and Easter. She loved Christmas, but she taught us that while Jesus' birth is significant, it is only significant because of what his life, death and resurrection means for us all. She celebrated this season with more reverence than Christmas.

One of my dear Catholic friends shared yesterday's post-Vatican II Lent reading this morning:

Mt 7:7-12 -- Ask and it will be given to you:

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone
when he asked for a loaf of bread,
or a snake when he asked for a fish?
If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your heavenly Father give good things
to those who ask him.

"Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets."

This is the law of attraction. It may be surprising to some to learn that God is the originator of this idea.

Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles, lays out many of the principles for achieving success in your life. It is a compilation of the many lessons he's learned from success gurus over his lifetime in the business. One thing that he repeats over and over is that the difference between those who experience success and those who do not is that those who are successful take action, any action, toward their goals.

Whether you realize it or not, asking for what you want, even if you're only asking God (praying) is taking action. Being clear about what you want helps, because then the Universe knows whether to deliver a stone or a loaf of bread, but it also helps you to be inspired to take the right actions that will reveal your success.

The punctuation of the passage, The Golden Rule, serves to bolster your success by giving to others what you most desire. Wish only well for those around you, and you will have the same AND increase your magnetism.

What are you going to pray for after fish fry tonight? How can you make this Lenten season more cleansing and powerful, even if you're a non-Catholic? What would a new spring and a fresh start mean for you and what can you do to prepare yourself to be your best when it is given to you?

Why Rihanna Went Back

There are questions swirling in the celebrity gossip world over why Rihanna may have reunited with Chris Brown. The man who allegedly beat her, bit her, choked her and left her on the side of the road is someone she now is rumored to be spending time with once again, to the dismay of many. Why would a woman who was beaten so badly by the man who is supposed to love her return for more of the same?

The judgments are already in. All over the net, the television networks, people are saying, "Well, if she's going to reunite with him, then her image is also tainted." This is the way it usually goes down. A woman is abused by her partner, and then she is blamed for continuing to be with him because those who have not walked in her shoes simply can not begin to fathom the multiple psychological factors involved in an abusive relationship.

I assure you that in a short blog post, I can not begin to do justice to this discussion. What I can tell you is that it is time for this nation to have a frank discussion about domestic violence. This happens more than most of us would like to admit. It is happening in teenage relationships, in adult relationships, in dating relationships, in co-habiting relationships and in marriages. It even happens in dissolved relationships where ex-partners have to see each other because of children they share.

If there is anything I can say today to stop the blaming of Rihanna, it is that a battered woman does not have the tools or perspective to leave the relationship. It takes a battered woman 7 attempts to leave, on average, before she is successful, if the man doesn't kill her in the meantime. There are elements involved in the syndrome of abuse that those who are not abused or trained in domestic violence do not understand. The perpetrator is a very skilled and manipulative person. He has control of the victim. It takes time to set the trap. When the victim tries to leave, he has ways of manipulating her back into the relationship, using all means necessary, including threats, emotional blackmail, you name it. Abusers are highly skilled at making their victims believe they caused the abuse.

To add to the unbearable burden on the victim, the court of public opinion fuels the fire by heaping blame and shame on the victim as well. Saying things like, "Well if she's going to return to him, then she deserves it," or, "If she's that stupid then she gets what she deserves, I don't feel sorry for her," are not helpful in this dialogue.

It is painfully difficult to watch a loved one or a friend entangled in an abusive relationship. It is easy to tire of hearing of it, to become less and less supportive as the person returns over and over for more abuse. The reason it is so difficult to take and so easy to tire is that we are not in it. We are not under the psychological control of the abuser. We can see his sickness, but the victim is sick with him. It takes very special friends and family to stick by the victim until she has had enough and is strong enough and ready to walk away for good. It takes even stronger friends and family to continue to say positive things and coach the victim away from the abuser by building her up, rather than tearing her down and blaming her.

Rihanna needs support. Fame, money and all the best in the world will do nothing for her if she doesn't see how sick her relationship is and she doesn't believe she deserves better than Chris Brown because Chris Brown is incapable of loving her.

Chris Brown needs help, and may be beyond it. None of his comments mean a thing, and if we give any of the things he has to say any credence, we are just as sick as a nation as Rihanna is as his girlfriend. Nothing he could have to say repairs what he's done to her and he has not done the work that would take years to rehabilitate himself into a being that is worthy of reconsideration. Oh, that Rihanna may be ready to take the trash out.

Rihanna is a symbol of the many women in our lives who are living the same shame behind the closed doors of their homes and cars when they leave our homes or our places of employment and go home in fear. They do not have the ability to treat themselves kindly because of the illness that has them entagled and enmeshed. The least we can do is be kind to them until they find the strength and ability to be kind to themselves.

Let us all remember and be grateful...but for the grace of God go I.

Everybody Needs A Coach

There are all sorts of coaches in life. Sometimes we all need someone to force us to see past our excuses and surprise ourselves.